Helping Kids Learn to be Good Eaters

     We all know that kids can be picky eaters. Your child may refuse to eat anything but a peanut butter and jelly sandwich for lunch for weeks straight. He or she may refuse to touch their vegetables. He or she may refuse to eat at meal time and beg for a snack 10 minutes after you've cleared the table. On the other hand your child may love to eat and request snacks all day long. One of the best thing about kids is their candid nature. They have their own wants, needs, and ideas and don't mind what you or society expects of them. But there are ways you can help you child become a better eater without creating a rift between you and them.

     One of the leading experts on child feeding is Ellyn Satter. I am currently reading her book "Child of Mine: Feeding with Love and Good Sense". Ms. Satter is an excellent resource on feeding children. She is a Registered Dietitian and a child psychologist. I use a lot of Ms. Satters work in counseling my clients.

     One of the main things I teach my clients is the Divisions of Responsibilities in feeding. Ms. Satter identifies the roles of the child and the roles of the parent during feeding. The roles are to only be filled by the appropriate party and not shared or exchanged.

      The roles of the parent are:

• Deciding what food is offered
• Deciding when food is offered
• Deciding where food is offered

     The roles of the child are:

• Deciding if he/she is going to eat the food offered
• Deciding what out of the food offered that he/she is going to eat
• Deciding how much of the food offered he/she is doing to eat

     More information on the parents roles: It is a good idea to provide set meal and snack times and not allow children to eat whenever they want throughout the day. This establishes a good meal pattern and makes sure children are getting enough to eat at regular intervals throughout the day. It also ensures that children are not filling up on snack food and subsequently are not hungry during meal times, which for many families is when the most nutritious food is served. Three meals and three snacks per day is a good idea for children. They have small stomachs and need small amounts of food more frequently than adults. Remember that portion sizes for children are smaller than for adults, so your child will likely not eat as much as you, or even your older children (but if they do, don't worry, every child is different!) You should provide a small snack between each meal and before bed even if the child does not ask for it. Snacks should usually be fruits or vegetables. Cheese and crackers, yogurt, pretzels, homemade oatmeal raisin cookies, cereal with low fat milk, or sugar free jello also make good snacks. During each meal and snack time you should provide your child with one food you know he/she likes and for the other foods, offer whatever you are making for the family as a whole. You should not be a short-order cook for your child! Children should always sit at the table when eating a meal or snack. Walking around or eating in front of the TV can distract children and they may over or under eat without noticing.

      More information on the kids roles: Allowing your child to decide how much or how little to eat at meal and snack time is the best way to help your child learn his or her hunger and satiety cues. If you are always making your child finish his or her plate, or if you are denying your child second helpings YOU are deciding what "hungry" and "full" is for your child instead of letting him/her listen to the signs from his/her body. Children have a built in ability to regulate how much food they need. As adults, this ability has been destroyed by many years of stuffing ourselves or restricting ourselves; or a combination of both! Some children are big eaters and some are small eaters. You do not have to worry about this, it is your child's job to  decide how much to eat. Because you are taking your child to the pediatrician regularly his/her growth is being monitored, and growth is the best indicator of nutritional status in children. Since you have provided your child with at least one food you know he/she likes at meals and snacks there should be at least one thing on the plate he/she will eat. If our child wants seconds of this or any other items that is fine. If he/she doesn't even want to touch some of the items, that's fine too. It takes between 10 and 20 times before a person starts liking a new food. Maybe the first five times your child is offered a new food, say broccoli, he/she will just look at it. Maybe the tenth time he/she will play with it on the plate. Maybe the 15th time he/she will take one bite. Maybe the 20th time he/she will take five bites. That is how it works with kids. As long as they are being offered a food let them decide whether or not to eat it, and how much. Do not pressure the child to eat it, and especially not to finish it! This creates a lot of stress for your child during mealtime. Often times children will come to resent mealtime if they are pressured to eat food they don't want to eat, and this usually leads to them eating even less than before! Suggesting your child try a new food is okay, but don't pressure them if they don't want to. Furthermore, make sure you child knows that if he/she doesn't eat at a meal or snack time that he/she has to wait until the next meal or snack time to eat again. It is not acceptable for the child to refuse a meal and then beg for a snack 10 minutes later.

    Make sure that the family is working as a team with these guidelines. Often times I hear from families where one family member is doing there part and following the guidelines but another one feels like they have to intervene and give the child potato chips after a meal because they think the child didn't eat enough. Also, introducing new foods works best if the child sees other family members eating the foods. It is not okay to expect your child to eat his/her vegetables if you will not eat yours. Healthy eating is a whole family endeavor!

     I hope you found this information interesting and helpful. These techniques have been studied have been proven to be effective! Please visit Ms. Satter's website at: http://www.ellynsatter.com/. Also, visit your local library or bookstore to find some of her many books!

Cheers,
Brittney